An epistle to New Southgate

This weekend I returned to my old parish of Our Lady of Lourdes in New Southgate to celebrate Mass and to say goodbye to the people there properly. The people welcomed me with their usual generosity and love. It was a moving celebration. Being the year of St Paul, I decided to write the parish a letter rather than a sermon.

A letter in the style of St Paul from me, Damian, a stumbling, shy, joyful, endlessly surprised, constantly humbled, fan and follower of Jesus Christ.

I cut my own yesterday morning like I do every Friday morning because Friday’s generally means getting ready for the weekend and preparing a sermon and I swear I preach much better with a freshly trimmed dome. To all the brothers and sisters in the New Southgate community, whether here in the Church, sitting on one of our new pews, just come in from the sunshine, about to celebrate Mass together.
- To those listening at home.
- to those whose prayer is 'Jesus I believe in you—it's your followers who scare me',
- to those who feel so isolated but you stumbled upon this parish and it's making you feel like you aren't alone, like there are others out there longing for the same kind of fresh moving of the Holy Spirit,
-to those who find themselves on top of the world, you're asked how you're doing and you say 'I’m good', and it's true and you mean it
- and to those who can barely drag themselves out of bed each morning
- to those who've recently lost their job
- to those whose children are making choices that are breaking your heart
- to those whose relationships are in trouble
- to the lonely, the depressed, the confused, the doubting
- to those who find it very, very hard to swallow the idea of a good, loving God, much less an open tomb, or a new creation, to all of you grace and peace.

Grace and peace,
That's how Paul begins most of his letters — with grace and peace.
Paul echoes the Easter greeting of Jesus – ‘Peace be with you’, because he knows that we live in disturbance and that peace is the place where we will flourish. That is what Jesus wishes for each of us. His grace. His peace.
Paul knows that if we get a handle on them —or perhaps we should more accurately say— if grace and peace get a handle on us, then we will never be the same.

Grace is gift. It begins with our wide-eyed wonder and awe that all of this is a gift.
The 'this' is of course many things,
it's the love of the Father,
the gift of the Son,
it's the unexpected soothing reassurance of the Spirit who whispers sometimes in the most
hopeless of moments: - "you're going to be fine"

It's my friend who wrote to me recently to announce that he and his wife are expecting a baby and they're beside themselves with joy. If you knew their story, the long years of waiting and living with dashed hopes that they have been through to arrive at this moment where she's actually growing a belly. Oh grace.

It's a woman I saw all alone in front of the altar, tears in her eyes, obviously struggling with some deeply personal pain and then up behind her come two friends who put their arms around her and begin to speak calm and peaceful words of truth to her and she receives them she soaks them in,
she hears them and they give her life because she's learning about grace and peace

Grace has been abundant in this place when we have gathered to baptise, to anoint, to join together in marriage, to reconcile, to celebrate Eucharist, to be a family of believers. Grace has been given to me in the words of love filled encouragement that have been shared with me in the short time I have spent among you. You will never know what this meant to me, because I cannot begin to put my gratitude into words.

Grace was with us in Lourdes when we shared our stories in depth and realised that somehow, in some way, God had called us together so that we could not just celebrate the Eucharist, but become Eucharist for one another.

Grace and peace have placed themselves in our homes as we gather around those we love in their final moments of life and we realise that love is the hallmark of who we are and what we are about. My heart is filled with memories of prayers and grace filled moments as I’ve accompanied you through the passing and the farewells to your loved ones. And the recent time when you were with me and my family in our grief. You were the presence of grace and peace.

Grace and peace.

Grace sneaks into that old barn that's filled to the roof with guilt and shame and self-loathing and hate and despair and it smiles and then lights a match and sets the whole place on fire.
Paul keeps using words like joy and peace and grace and rejoice, Some of his writings come from dark places, from injustice and prison. He writes to those who support him when awaiting his own execution. Death row is not where you use those words, but Paul insists that suffering and joy are good friends, they hold hands, they embrace. This isn't conventional wisdom, you're either happy because everything is going according to your plan or you are suffering because God did something horrible to you and messed with your plan and now you have car accidents and cancer and the economy and divorce and Spurs!... It's either one or the other, but not both, and certainly not both sharing the same bed

But what we see again and again is that God's new creation works differently.
All sorts of flowers grow up in between the cracks in the ugly pavement and it's their location, right in the middle of all that ugly concrete that makes them so strikingly beautiful, because ordinarily you wouldn't notice them.

That's why some of the best insights come from pain.
that's why some of the best poems come from suffering.
that's why some of the best songs come from longing.
that's why some of the best stories come from the times when we had given up on having a story to tell...

I recently met a woman who shared with me her experience of raising her ten year old daughter with autism. She eloquently spoke of all the good and true and beautiful that she and her husband and family have experienced because of their suffering and struggle and challenges. I was moved because that's what joy is about.

Joy is learning to discern that God is up to something even in this.
Joy is learning to perceive things that run counter to prevailing wisdom about how the world works. Joy is evidence of a particular kind of living.

The truth is this - you really can become a certain kind of person
the kind of person who lives in the Christ pattern of thinking feeling and acting
the kind of person who is working out their way into grace and peace.
You can set yourself on becoming this kind of person.
The kind of person who, like Paul, can write letters exploding with joy and wisdom.
The kind of person who resolves to find the grace and peace in any situation.
The kind of person who will not be crushed by circumstances.
The kind of person that always assumes that even in this situation,
in this tragedy,
in this desert experience,
in this failure and mistake and regret and nightmare,
there will be some sort of resurrection even in this...
Everything you've been through is being retold through Christ.
And so the hard part
the tough parts
the shameful parts
they are now living breathing examples of grace.

You don't say "I could never talk about that", you say "let me tell you what I've made it through".
You have survived,
you're here
and you're listening
and all those things that should have wiped you out have actually made you stronger.
All the things that would be painful regrets and unspeakable wounds
are now evidence that grace and peace are real.

You took those blocks and boards of your experiences and you let Christ make a table out of them so that others could share in your story, you can say rejoice and again you can say rejoice
because you know grace and grace is gift.

You are going to be fine
Paul at one point in his letter to the Philippians quotes an early Christ hymn about Jesus who is executed on the cross but then exalted by God.
The resurrection turns everything upside down; it opens up all sorts of possibilities
it puts all sorts of balls in play, it invites all kinds of people to the celebration as it announces that the last word has not been spoken.
So until then, in our fear and trembling, our doubting and our rejoicing, our forgiving and our being forgiven, our giving and our receiving, we have an open tomb - a new creation, and the heightened anticipation that there is more to be said...

And so we come to the end of my time with you. What a time I have had being with you in your joy’s and sorrows and you being with me in mine. This goodbye, this ending which is of course
like all good endings, is really just a beginning...

How I long for all of you to know, to understand, to live, to experience, and to enjoy grace and peace.

Glory be God who shows his power in us and can do much more than we could ask or imagine; glory to him in the Church and in Christ Jesus through all the generations for ever and ever. Amen.

With all the love I can muster, your priest and brother,

Damian.

Settling in

Well the move happened. I celebrated my last Masses in Our Lady of Lourdes on the first Sunday of Lent and then moved to take up my new appointment in the residential youth retreat centres of Westminster diocese. For the first time in my life I am living on my own. I have a house in the grounds of the pastoral centre just a couple of minutes walk from the youth centre (SPEC). I have been involved with SPEc on a part time basis for a year and now I am alongside them full time.

This is a real learning curve and a totally new way of ministry for me. I have been in chaplaincy before but in a totally different context and as part of a religious community. There is an 'aloneness' to what I am doing now, which is a completely new experience for me. Please pray for me in the coming weeks and months as I discover new ways of ministering to God's people.

The Perfect Priest.

Saw this and it made me laugh.

The "Perfect" Priest

The results of a computerized survey indicate the perfect priest preaches exactly fifteen minutes. He condemns sins but never upsets anyone. He works from 8:00 AM until midnight and is also a janitor. He makes $50 a week, wears good clothes, buys good books, drives a good car, and gives about $50 weekly to the poor. He is 28 years old and has preached 30 years. He has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all of his time with senior citizens.

The perfect priest smiles all the time with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously dedicated to his work. He makes 15 calls daily on parish families, shut-ins and the hospitalized, and is always in his office when needed.

If your priest does not measure up, simply send this letter to six other churches that are tired of their priest, too. Then bundle up your priest and send him to the church on the top of the list. In one week, you will receive 1,643 priests and one of them will be perfect. Have faith in this procedure.

One parish broke the chain and got its old priest back in less than three weeks.

Still here.

I have just realised that I have been a very neglectful blogger recently. My excuse is ... work. I spent 2 weeks of January having a break, my first real break in almost a year. I spent the time sleeping, reading and catching up with friends. It was a wonderful time and I came home refreshed and then had a bout of tonsilitus. I had forgotten quite how painful that can be. I am pretty much recovered now and I am able to speak without wincing.
A big part of my time and energy has been spent waiting for news of my new appointment. I was told four months ago that I would be moving and the parish had been told who my replacement might be but nothing was confirmed regarding my appointment which is only now beginning to firm up. Please keep me in your prayers in the next few days.

Catholic Missionaries killed in 2008

Fides news service has released the following list of 20 priests, religious, and lay catechists who were killed while serving on Church assignments in 2008. The list is headed by Archbishop Paulos Faraj Rahho of the Chaldean diocese of Mosul, Iraq. Fides shows eight Church workers killed in Asia (Iraq, India, Sri Lanka, the Philippines, and Nepal); five in the Americas (Mexico, Venezuela, Colombia, and Brazil); five in Africa (Kenya, Guinea Conakry, Nigeria, and Congo); and two in Europe (Russia).


Fr Pedro Daniel Orellana Hidalgo, 50, killed by robbers in his room in Caracas, Venezuela January 6, 2008. A native of Caracas, for many years he had carried out pastoral activity in the Archdiocese of Cumana. Upon his return to Caracas, he was given various administrative positions and a position as a teacher. He was not working in any specific ecclesial position at the time and celebrated Mass at "Immaculate Heart of Mary" Parish in the El Rosal district. When he failed to arrive to say Mass on the 6th, which was also the anniversary of his mother's death, his family went to his house and found him dead.

Fr Jesus Reynaldo Roda, OMI (Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate), 55, shot dead in Tabawan, Philippines, on January 15, 2008 during a bungled kidnapping. The priest was in charge of a small mission station and a community of about 30 Catholics involved in programs of basic instruction and inter-religious dialogue. He was also head of the local Notre Dame Catholic School for Christian and Muslim children. A gang of 10 gun men broke into the mission chapel where Fr Jesus was saying his Rosary.

Fr Michael Kamau Ithondeka, 42, Vice-Rector of the Mathias Mulumba Senior Seminary of Tindinyo (Kenya) was killed in Nigeria on January 26, at an illegal post established by a gang of armed youth on the Nakuru-Eldama road, in Rift Valley. Fr Michael was on his way to Nakuru. Fr Kamau was born in Kiambu, near Nairobi. He entered the Minor Seminary in Molo in 1986, studying in St Augustine Seminary in 1986 and St. Mathias Mulumba. He was ordained for the Diocese of Nakuru on January 1993. From 1998-2002, Fr Kamau studied Sacred Scripture at the Pontifical Institute for Biblical Studies in Rome. In 2005, he became Vice-Rector of St Mathias Mulumba Seminary.


Brother Joseph Douet, Order of Christian Brothers of Saint Gabriel, 62, was killed by robbers on April 8 in Katako, Guinea Conakry. Brother Joseph was a native of Pin-en-Mauges, France and had spent 37 years in Africa, having taught in Cholet. In 1971, he began the mission in Senegal, as a teacher, school director, and head of formation. He returned to France for serious health trouble, however as soon as he had recuperated he returned to Africa. In 1989, he was appointed Superior of the young Province of Senegal, which he served for two terms. He then moved to Guinea, where the Province of Senegal had founded two mission, in Ourous and Katako, with a literacy learning centre and agricultural school. Brother Joseph was killed in by intruders at his school, where he was alone at the time. All the other staff was outside the premises preparing for the inauguration of the new school.

Fr Brian Thorp, Mill Hill Missionary, 77, killed in Lamu, Archdiocese of Mombasa, Kenya, apparently the victim of an armed attack which occurred on the night of April 9-10. Fr Thorp was born in Bamford, Derbyshire, the fourth of five children. After a life working as a carpenter and construction worker, following the death of his youngest brother in 1967, Brian decided to reflect on his future. The following year, he entered the program for studies with the Mill Hill Missionaries. He made temporal vows in June 1970 and perpetual vows June 29, 1972. He carried out his first mission from 1973-1976 in Basankusu (in present-day Democratic Republic of Congo), where he worked on various projects for building structures for the mission. He later worked in the missions in Kenya and Uganda. In 1999, Fr Brian was named parish pastor in Lamu.

Archbishop Paulos Faraj Rahho of Mossul for Chaldeans (Iraq), 65, was kidnapped on February 29, in Mosul after having celebrated the Way of the Cross, as he exited the Church of the Holy Spirit. Three persons were killed: with him two bodyguards and the driver. The Archbishop's body was found on March 13. The Apostolic Nuncio to Jordan and Iraq, Archbishop Francis Assisi Chullikat, said: "Archbishop Rahho was a man of peace and dialogue, a link between Christians and Muslims." "Archbishop Rahho took up his cross and followed the Lord Jesus, thus he contributed to bringing justice to his martyred country and to the whole world, bearing witness to the truth." Pope Benedict XVI said: "I know he had a particular fondness for the poor and the disabled. In order to offer physical and psychological care, he founded a special association called 'Joy and Charity' , with the task of helping these people and their families, many of whom learned from him not to hide these relatives and to see them in Christ. May his example sustain all Iraqis of good will, Christians and Muslims, to build peaceful coexistence founded on human fraternity and mutual respect."

Fr Mariampillai Xavier Karunaratnam, parish pastor of the church in Vannivi'laangku'lam, human rights activist and advocate of dialogue and reconciliation was killed April 20 in Ambalkulam (Diocese of Jaffna). The priest was wounded while he was in his car, in a region of heavy fighting between the military and Tamil rebels. According to reports issued by the rebel forces, he was wounded by military gunfire. Other sources report a mine attack that destroyed his vehicle. The priest was Founder and President of the North East Secretariat on Human Rights, that denounced the violence and abuse of the war and provided psychological assistance to victims of the conflict. The faithful of his parish remember him as a Pastor who was always concerned for the flock, in every circumstance, always ready to remedy their spiritual and material needs, especially for those who had lost their homes or jobs due to the conflict.

Fr Julio Cesar Mendoza Acuma, Mexican, 33, died on May 2, 2008 in Mexico City, following attacks suffered the night before in his parish residence. He was the pastor of Our Lady of the Rosary Parish, in a southern district of the Mexican capital. He was found in his bathroom, still alive, lying face down with his hands bound and his head an face covered with blood. He was taken to hospital where he died.

Fr Johnson Moyalan, 60, Salesian missionary from India, was killed in his mission on July 1, in Sirsia, Nepal, by a group of armed men. Gunmen broke in during the night forcing the gate keeper to take them to the priests' house. Assistant priest Fr Mathew Puthuppallil, tried to go for help but was stopped. The men went into the room of Fr Johnson Moyalan, shot him and ran off about 15 minutes later. The local people came running and found the missionary, shot to death by two firearms. Hindu extremists who operate in the area have often threatened Christian and Muslim communities in the area. Fr Moyalan was born in Ollur, Kerala, in 1948. He had been a Salesian since 1967, and served as parish priest in the state of Andhra Pradesh. He went to Dharan in 1996, and in 2000 moved to a new Salesian mission in Sirsia, to assist the poor, run an elementary school and a parish. In Nepal, he had taken the name of Fr John Prakash. "Fr. Johnson was a very committed priest, an excellent religious, a person with great compassion for the poor and the marginalized. In the past, at the mission in Nepal, he had worked at the then "Missio Sui Iuris" Apostolic School preparing priest-candidates for the Mission. He was also very involved in village development programs and education, beneficiaries of which were mostly non-Christians of the area - among whom were many from the tribal communities and the so-called 'untouchables.' His work in the Don Bosco School in Sirsia was appreciated by everyone." These were the words of the Apostolic Vicar of Nepal, Monsignor Anthony Sharma.


Fr Jaime Ossa Toro, Colombian, 71, from the Institute for Foreign Missions of Yarumal, was stabbed on August 13, in Medellin, in northeastern Colombia. His body was found in his room, near Emmaus Church, where he had served as a parish priest for three years. Born in Medellin (Colombia) on November 1937, he was ordained in October 1962 and was a missionary in Angola for 14 years. In 1995, he returned to Medellin. According to testimonies,he was known for his spirit of charity towards those most in need, for his sincerity, intelligence, and culture. Very well-esteemed by his faithful and brothers in the order, he was especially dedicated to promoting the participation of the laity and the youth in missionary activities.

Fr Thomas Pandippallyil, 38. On the night of August 16, several people found the Carmelite priest who was assassinated while celebrating Mass in a village. His body was found in Mosalikunta, on the road linking Lingampet to Yellareddy, in the Indian state of Andra Pradesh. A kilometer away, the moped that he used was also found. Archbishop Marampudi Joji of Hyderabad has denied any activity of "proselytism and forced conversions," given that there were only "five Catholic families" in the parish in which Fr Thomas was killed. According to the Archbishop, the crime was the result of the climate of "jealousy towards the Catholic Church," which is only guilty of having worked for the development of the poorest and most abandoned areas of the country, and committed to sustaining and helping those who are victims of violence and oppression. A native of Kerala, Diocese of Palai, Fr Pandippallyil entered the Carmelites in Chanda in 1987 and took his vows in 2002. For some time he served as Rector of the Provincial Institute and worked as an administrator in the hospital, school, and local missionary centre.

Fr Nilson José Brasiliano, 44, who was stabbed to death, was found on August 24, in the rural town of Tiete, in Parana, Brazil, along the side of the road, nearly 10 km from the larger city of Araucaria. The police arrested four men, who according to an investigation had kidnapped him in ordered to force him to hand over his bank savings.

Fr John Mark Ikpiki, 43, was killed on September 1, in Isiokolo, state of Delta, Nigeria, just a short distance from the local police station, by attackers who stole his vehicle. The priest was very well-known as the author of catechetical material and formation texts, dedicated to giving spiritual retreats and having encounters for young people. In the Diocese of Warri, he was the parish pastor of St Ambrose, Diocesan Chaplain of the Catholic Dramatic Society and Diocesan Director of the Social Communications Office, which published the diocesan paper "The Messenger of Peace." According to the testimonies of those who knew him, he was a charismatic priest who was very dedicated to his ministry.

Fr Gerardo Manuel Miranda Avalos, 45, was shot dead on September 2, as he was entering the Institute "Fray Juan de San Miguel," of which he was Director. The crime took place in the entrance of the educational facility located in downtown Los Reyes, in the Mexican state of Michoacan. He died in the hospital during the initial medical interventions. The priest was originally from Yurecuaro, Michoacan, Mexico. He was ordained a priest in 1987, and was very loved and respected by the entire region.

Fr Samuel Francis, 60, and lay volunteer worker Mercy Bahadur were found on September 22 in the village of Chota Rampur, near Dehradun, in the Diocese of Meerut in the state of Uttarakhand, northern India. Fr Samuel Francis was also known as "Swami Astheya," as he led the life of a hermit in an "ashram," or typical Hindu monastery, adapted to the Christian tradition. The lay volunteer had been collaborating for over a year with the priest, welcoming all those who visited the ashram. The Indian Bishops' Conference, said the homicide did not seem to be part of an anti-Christian hate campaign launched by radical Hindu groups, but probably was a failed robbery.


Fr Bernard Digal, 45, of the Archdiocese of Cuttack-Bhubaneshwar, in Orissa, India, was attacked on August 25 by Hindu fundamentalists, and died on October 28 in hospital, from severe head wounds. "During his life, Fr Bernard showed great determination and courage in bearing witness to Christ and dying for Him. He has died as a true Christian. Immediately following his attack, he forgave his enemies and persecutors," said Fr Mrutyunjay Digal, from the same Archdiocese and Secretary of the local Archbishop Raphael Cheenath.


Fr Otto Messmer SJ, 47, and Fr Victor Betancourt SJ, 42, were found on the evening of October 28 in their rooms in Moscow, by another Jesuit who was concerned because he had not heard from them. The double murder took place on October 27, with a difference of 15-17 hours between the killings. Russian media said a mentally-ill man had been arrested and cofessed to the crime.Fr Messmer, a Russian citizen, was born on 14 July 1961 in Karaganda, Kazakhstan. Since October 13, 2002, he served as Superior of the Independent Region of Russia of the Society of Jesus. Fr Betancourt was born on 7 July 1966 in Guayaquil, Ecuador. He undertook his Jesuit training in Argentina, Ecuador, Germany and Italy. Since 2001, he had formed a part of the Russian Region. He worked in vocational ministry and was a theology professor in the St Thomas Philosophical, Theological and Historical Institute in Moscow.


Boduin Ntamenya, 52, of Goma, North Kivu, DR Congo, was killed on December 15, 2008, in the territory of Rutshuru. Boduin had worked for the Italian NGO, AVSI, for two years and took care of emergency education. He was part of a team of teachers that support and assist teachers and students in areas of conflict. He was on the way to visit a school when the car he was driving was attacked by four gunmen. He was hit in the hand and the side, but managed to continue driving for another kilometre until the jeep broke down. Boduin died before reaching hospital. He leaves his wife and six children.

Christmas Blessings

THE PROCLAMATION OF THE BIRTH OF CHRIST
Today, the twenty–fifth day of December,
unknown ages from the time when God created the heavens and the earth
and then formed man and woman in his own image.
Several thousand years after the flood,
when God made the rainbow shine forth
as a sign of the covenant.
Twenty–one centuries from the time of Abraham and Sarah;
thirteen centuries after Moses led the people of Israel
out of Egypt.
Eleven hundred years from the time of Ruth and the Judges;
one thousand years from the anointing of David as king;
in the sixty–fifth week according to the prophecy of Daniel.
In the one hundred and ninety–fourth Olympiad;
the seven hundred and fifty–second year from the foundation
of the city of Rome.
The forty–second year of the reign of Octavian Augustus;
the whole world being at peace,
Jesus Christ, eternal God and Son of the eternal Father,
desiring to sanctify the world by his most merciful coming,
being conceived by the Holy Spirit,
and nine months having passed since his conception,
was born in Bethlehem of Judea of the Virgin Mary.
Today is the nativity of our Lord Jesus Christ according to the flesh

Thomas Merton ~ 40 years on

Yesterday was the 40th anniversary of the death of one of my heroes, the Trappist monk and writer, Thomas Merton, OSCO. He was a man with an amazing ability to communicate. The following quote is from Thoughts in Solitude

My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear,
for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.